Crystal Ball, Screw Us All!
by Brenman
Summary: During the Saiyan saga, Bulma and Chi Chi are transported into the future when Babas' crystal ball malfunctions. What will they do when they meet Vegeta? How will they get back? You will just have to read to find out.
1. Is That Crystal Or Dynamite?

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, and while I'm on the point I would also like pointing out that I don't own Microsoft, The Moon, Japan, The Prime Meridian, George Bushes first pair of underwear, A thong, Muhammad Ali, or King Tuts chin thingy.

Brenman: This is a fic that I thought up at work one day. Not that you should care about that. It's about Bulma and Chi Chi getting transported into the future by Babas' crystal ball during the fight between Goku and Vegeta. How will the two women react during a run in with the man who just hours before they saw beating up their friends? You will just have to read to find out, or you could hit the back button and go choose a different story. No wait, don't do that. I wasn't being serious. Now if only I could figure out how to disable everyone's back buttons.

Crystal Ball, Screw Us All.

Chapter 1: Is That Crystal Or Dynamite?

Bulma Sat on the floor of Kame House, she was watching the television in horror with tears in her eyes. She had just witnessed the ruthless saiyan warriors kill off three of her closest friends and Piccolo. She had sadly watched the T.V. as her boyfriend of many years (I couldn't be bothered to count them.), Yamucha, was blown up by a little green thing.

For the past couple of hours the Television had been blank, but no one had moved from their spot watching it. Just in case it came back on, but it wouldn't come back on. The large saiyan known as Nappa had completely wiped out all the news crews that had stationed themselves on the island.

The other occupants of Kame House were just as silent as Bulma. Master Roshi was staring at the floor in obvious concentration. The glazed over look in his eyes was the only thing that showed his concentration was far away. The Ox King sat on the middle of the room fanning his daughter Chi Chi who had fallen over in a dead faint. The shape shifting pig Oolong sat over his friend Puars body. Puar had fainted at the sight of Yamuchas' dead body.

"Oh. I really wish we could see what was going on." Bulma grumbled out and snapped everyone out of their stupor's. "Damn those saiyans. What did we do to deserve this?" Chi Chi looked up at her blue haired friend from her position lying on the floor. There was nothing she had to say about that. If there was such thing as Karma, it was being particularly unfair right about now.

Everyone jumped a foot in the air when a sudden knock was heard on the door. Master Roshi looked at the door in surprise. "Now who would be here at a time like this?" Master Roshi got up and walked over to the door, he was soon followed by the rest of the gang. The martial arts master opened the door and stared at the person in front of him. It was none other then his wrinkly old sister. The fortune teller Baba.

"What are you doing here?" Master Roshi asked.

"I thought that you might want to watch the fight." Baba smiled at the rest of the onlookers. They all nodded with a dazed look in their eyes.

Suddenly they realized what Baba had said and without warning Oolong, Bulma and Chi Chi grabbed the crystal from underneath the fortune teller. With a scream of indignation the fortune teller was pulled inside the small pink house.

Once the crazy mob had put the short pink haired woman down she straightened out her dress and placed her hands on the crystal ball. Baba cleared her throat and began chanting. "Crystal Ball, Crystal Ball show the fight to end it all." Everyone crowded in around the ball to see what it would show. A light flickered into existence somewhere in the depths of the crystal and an image popped up suddenly like a television.

The group watched for the next half of an hour in amazement as their fearless hero Goku fought a fairly evenly matched battle against the flame haired saiyan named Vegeta. What a nut case this guy was. Apparently he had killed his own team mate. This was something Bulma couldn't figure out. Why did this guy have team mates in the first place. Who would actually want to spend their time with this guy?

The group had to shield their eyes as the two super powered warriors began putting out so much energy that the crystal ball was lighting up like a Christmas tree. A Christmas tree that just happened to be on fire. The whole group backed up a couple steps as a the crystal ball began to fizzle with electricity. "I don't know how much more of this your ball can take." Master Roshi said while eyeing the ball warily.

Baba looked at her brother in indignation, "Why, I'll have you know that my crystal ball can take much more then this." Baba spat at the wrinkled old man and then turned to look at the ball, but as soon as the words had left her mouth bolts of electricity began jumping around the room, blowing up any electrical devices that they hit. The group cried out in fright and ducked close to the ground.

The group watched in slow motion as twin bolts of electricity shot out from the crystal ball and trailed along the floor before they landed on Bulma and Chi Chi. Suddenly all the electricity in the room stopped and the group looked around. The two women inspected themselves for a couple seconds. "Well, that wasn't to bad." Bulma said quietly. She was surprised that she was even alive. That electricity had blown up the television and yet she hadn't felt any pain.

Chi Chi was about to agree when she began feeling funny. "I don't feel to good." She said and held her head in her hands. Bulma had to agree with her. With out any warning both of the women vanished. No noise, no light shows. They just vanished. How boring.

Bulma and Chi Chi found themselves floating in some sort of tunnel made out of swirling colors and they were traveling at incredible speeds. They looked at each other for a couple seconds before they were separated and sent down different tunnels. Bulmas' last thought in the tunnel was, 'This can't be good.'

Chi Chis' last thought had been, 'I sure hope I don't miss laundry day. Gohan doesn't have any clean underwear. Not to mention I haven't seen him in almost a year and I bet that horrible green guy didn't make him take his bathes. He's going to be so dirty, and he doesn't have his special shampoo. He's going to have the worst split ends.'

-- Kame House --

The group stared at the spots that the two women used to be. "Chi Chi!" The Ox King called out, hoping to locate his missing daughter. No one had any clue what had happened. Not even Baba. Her crystal ball had never failed her like this before.

Master Roshi was the first to fully collect himself, or so he thought. He decided that they wouldn't get anywhere if they kept gawking at empty space and opened up his mouth to break the silence with the most intelligent thing he could think to say, "Uh... Duh... What the Doodles?"

This simple sentence did manage to break everyone out of their stupor's as they began staring at the martial arts master. Oh well. it doesn't look like they're going to be making any progress any time soon.

-- Somewhere in the center of Satan City --

Bulma got up from her position lying on the ground. She rubbed the spot where she had bumped her head. "Where am I?" She remarked to no one in particular. She looked around her and deduced that she was in some sort of back alley way. 'Well, better have a look around.' she thought to herself and strode out of the alley. she squinted in the sun light and noticed that she was now standing directly in front of a large bill board sign for a movie preview. The sign proclaimed the the movie 'The Satantrix Revolutions' would be playing in theaters on...

"What the Hell?" Bulma called out, "They're advertising for a movie that won't come out for another thirteen years." Bulma didn't have a clue what was going on.

Most of the passers by on the street paid her no attention. One man who had over heard her stopped and looked at her strangely, "That movies coming out tomorrow." He said kindly.

Bulma stared at the man, "What's today's date?"

"July third." stated the man

Bulma groaned inwardly. July third? That's not right, "What is the year?"

The man looked surprised, "It's the year Seven-hundred and Seventy-four." The man walked off like a character in a video game once they have said everything they are programed to say. They're so rude, aren't they.

Bulma stood still for a couple minutes. She was in the future, and she didn't know how to get back.

'Well. If I'm in the future it would probably be best if I go track myself down. That shouldn't be too hard. I am famous, and if I have two genius's working on getting me home, then I have a much better chance. I guess the best place to start would be to go home.' Bulma pulled out a capsule and clicked the button. She threw the capsule on the ground and it changed into a car.

Bulma had one foot in the car when she realized that she didn't know where she was. She stood up again and surveyed the area around her. Her eyes fell on a large building. 'Perfect.' She thought to herself as she stared at orange star high school.

-- Somewhere In The Wilderness --

Chi Chi sat up. She was sitting on a patch of grass on top of a grassy knoll. She looked around at her surroundings. "What in the world happened?" Chi Chi shook her head and really concentrated on where she was. She was sitting in a large clearing surrounded by tall trees. A short distance away from her was a tall tree and on the other side of the clearing a dirt path was meandering it's way through the forest. "I know where I am." Chi Chi said suddenly. This is Mount Paozu . I wonder how I got here though. Well, the only thing to do now would be to go home."

Chi Chi stood up and walked in the direction of the path.

Brenman: How was it? Please review and leave your answer. The options are:

A) It was fantastic! Please make more.

B) It was so great I printed out a copy and stuck it on my refrigerator.

C) It was amazing and I bookmarked it.

or D) I own a publishing company and even though it's illegal I'm going to publish it in the next book we print.


	2. Different Perspectives

Disclaimer: No one owns DBZ. You can't own real people like that. Hysterical Laughter That is right. They are all real. More Hysterical Laughter

Brenman: Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 2: Different Perspectives

The inhabitants of Kame house were just coming out of their trance like state after a couple hours of staring at Master Roshi. They looked around themselves and the first thing they noticed was Goku, Gohan, and Krillin all sitting on the couch watching then with confused looks on their faces. The Ox King was extremely happy to find out that his only grandson was still alive, "Gohan, Goku. When did you guys get here?"

Goku Chuckled, "About half an hour ago."

Master Roshi looked at the three warriors from behind his sun glasses and studied them hard. All of them were covered in injuries. Some of the injuries looked pretty bad to. "How did you three get back here? None of you look like you could fly very far."

Krillin laughed until his sides hurt. Which didn't take long, considering his sides were all bruised. "We had help from nimbus." Krillin managed to get himself under control. "So why have you all been staring at Master Roshi like that? Did it have something to do with the saiyans?"

Suddenly the group remembered why they had been stuck in a trance, the Ox King looked at them and said, "Master Roshi said 'What the Doodles.' That's why we were staring at him." The Ox King waited as everyone in the room nodded, and then he remembered why Master Roshi had said that, "Oh no, Chi Chi and Bulma have disappeared."

Gohan looked at his grandfather, "What do you mean mom disappeared?"

-- Satan City --

Bulmas' Capsule car sped outside the city limits and barreled down the highway in the general direction of West city. Bulma sat in the drivers seat and pondered what it meant to be in the future. 'This is so cool. Time travel. It can be done. Maybe I should study it. I might be able to create a time machine. I wonder how my future has turned out. I bet I've married Yamucha by now, and we probably have around five kids. I wonder if I've aged at all. Probably not, I'm so beautiful. Not to mention I'm a genius.'

Bulma tuned into a random radio station and set the cruise control on her car. She should be getting home in less then one hour. 'I can't wait.'

Suddenly a thought struck Bulma so hard she just about slammed on the brakes. 'What about Chi Chi? She was with me, but we got separated. What if she's in a different time or place. She could be in danger. I guess I better hurry up then. The sooner I can find my other self, the sooner I can find out what happened to Chi Chi.'

Bulma was about to turn up the speed when another thought struck her, 'Did we defeat the saiyans?'

-- Kamis' Lookout --

Dende stood on the edge of his floating palace with his wooden staff at his side. He stared down at the vast world beneath him and couldn't help but have a feeling that he had missed something big.

"Dende. Dende, can you hear me?"

That was it. "Oh no. I forgot to tape Americal Idol." Dende shouted out.

"Dammit Dende. Are you listening? Can you hear me?"

Dende looked up at the sky with a pouty face on, "Yes I can King Kai. How can I help you?"

King Kais voice echoed down to Dende from his place on the Grand Kais planet, "It would seem that there are a couple presences that have popped up into existence on earth and I am to tell you that it is your responsibility to find out what they are doing there."

Dende looked shocked and turned around to stare at the earth again, "A couple new presences? Are they evil? Do they pose a threat to us?"

King Kai answered in a cheerful tone, "For once, they aren't. These powers seem to be of an ordinary human level, and mostly benevolent. Could you try and find out how they came to be here."

"Okay King Kai. Talk to you later." Dende hung up, I mean stopped talking and tried to think of what to do next. "I wanted to torture Gohan, but that's going to have to wait."

A voice behind the guardian made him jump, "What are you going to do about the problem?"

Dende whirled around and yelled in his fellow nameks face, "How many times do I have to tell you Piccolo. Do not use that scary voice of yours to startle me like that."

Piccolo laughed.

-- 439 Mountain Area --

Goku, Gohan, Trunks, and Goten were all leaning up against a large tree in the Son families' enormous backyard. They watched as Chi Chi and Bulma were laying out the picnic lunch on a dozen large picnic tables. Krillin was playing catch with little Marron, and eighteen was sitting in a hammock watching them. It was a nice sunny day. It was perfect for a picnic.

The saiyans were eying all the food and only Gohan took his eyes off the scrumptious looking edibles when Videls' helicopter landed in the yard. The black haired young woman stepped out and capsulated her vehicle and ran over to see Gohan. "Hi Gohan, how are you?"

"I'm fine." Gohan said and gave her a kiss on the cheek and returned to watching the food.

Videl scowled, "Damn saiyans," she stalked off to help the women setting up the food. maybe she would get more attention from her boyfriend that way.

Goku looked at his son from the other side of the tree, "Gohan, when are you going to propose to Videl? You've had the ring for a while now."

Gohan looked at his father, "I'm going to wait until she's really angry at me."

Goku looked confused, "Why?"

Gohan chuckled, "I know she won't refuse to marry me when I ask her. So if I wait until she's mad at me, it'll be like using a get out of jail free card. In other words, she'll forget about being mad at me."

"Oh, okay." Goku continued looking over his shoulder at his son, "Hey Gohan, how much longer until Vegeta gets back? I'm starving."

Gohan looked at his watch, "Probably about ten to fifteen minutes."

Goku groaned and held his stomach, "But I haven't eaten in over twenty minutes. I'm starving over here."

-- In Mid Air Somewhere Over The Mountains --

"Damn lazy teenagers!" The seven foot tall namekian exclaimed to himself and a couple of birds nearby, "Why do I have to do all the work for him? He's the guardian, but I'm out here doing menial grunt tasks."

Piccolo soared through the air towards the mountain home of Goku. Piccolo just hoped that the saiyans wife wouldn't be there. He hated dealing with that woman. She was so pushy and annoying. "Well at least there's only one of her."

-- Capsule Corp. --

Bulmas' out of date but still nice sports car pulled up into the parking lot at capsule corp. That's right. They didn't have a drive way. They had a parking lot. A parking lot where the briefs family kept such vehicles as Bulmas' convertible made out of strawberries, Trunks' bike made out of candy, and Vegetas' monster truck made out of solid gold. Bulma didn't pay any attention to these. She probably would have stopped to admire the strawberry car if it wasn't hiding behind the monster truck.

The blue haired time traveler jumped out of her car and dashed towards the house. She reached the front door and was about to barge in when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. Something fell out of the sky and landed quietly on the ground Bulma rushed around the side of the house, 'Maybe that's Yamucha and I can surprise him.'

She stopped in her tracks as she saw who was stalking inside the house. It was the evil saiyan prince known as Vegeta. She clamped her hands over her mouth and jumped behind a rose bush. She had almost screamed out when she saw him. Then he would have found her and killed her. Bulma thought carefully. 'Vegeta must have won the battle. It's obvious that he's taken my house to live in. It is the largest residence on the planet. Oh no. What if all my friends are dead. I may never be able to get home, and if Vegeta finds me he'll kill me for sure.'

Bulma decided after a short debate that she should go see if any of her friend were still alive and kicking. Her plan was to go to the Sons house first. If any one could help her, it would be Goku. If there was no one there, she would have to try Kame house.

Bulma crept out of her hiding spot and pulled her fastest Plane capsule out of her pocket. She opened it up and jumped in. In record time she had the plane running and was well on her way to the mountains. 'Now that I think about it. There's a good chance that Chi Chis' safer then I am.'

-- 439 Mountain Area --

The picnic goers were getting restless. Well, at least all the picnic goers that were born with tails were getting restless. All that food was right in front of them and they couldn't touch it, and now that the women had android eighteen helping them guard the food, there was no way they could steal any.

The saiyans had retreated back to their tree and were now trying to lull the women into a false sense of security by not attacking the food for two whole minutes. They were about to make another attack when everyone looked in the direction of the Son house. From the other side of the house everyone could hear a voice calling out, "Goku? Gohan? Are you here?"

Without thinking Goku spoke up, "Were over here Chi Chi." Then he stopped and turned around to look at the picnic tables, "Wait a minute. Chi Chis' right there. So who was that?"

Everyone in attendance turned around again to look at the house. They watched as a black haired motherly looking woman walked around the house and walked towards Goku. She looked around at all the people. "Goku, who are all these people? Who's this little clone of you? Shouldn't you be all beaten up? Why does that kid have purple hair? and perhaps most importantly, why is there food on that table and you haven't eaten it yet?" Chi Chi stopped her tirade and looked at all the shocked people.

Android Eighteen was the first to speak up, "Who are you?" She said this in her usual cold emotionless voice.

Chi Chi looked at her with a frown, "I am Son Chi Chi. Who are you?"

Everyone looked at the woman in shock, and then they all looked at the older Chi Chi. They were broken out of their shock by a loud harsh laugh coming from above them. Everyone looked up to find Piccolo hovering in the air. Chi Chi paled. 'It's that evil Piccolo guy. He kidnapped Gohan. I guess I'm going to have to pull out my secret weapon. The frying pan.'

Piccolo looked down on the crowd, "Well that solves one part of the mystery."

Goku looked at Piccolo and then at the new Chi Chi and then back at Piccolo, "What mystery Piccolo?"

Piccolo looked down at Goku in silence, 'What mystery?' a younger version of his wife shows up and he asks me 'What mystery?', "King Kai contacted us. Apparently there are a couple presences that popped into existence in this world. We were charged with finding out who they are and where they came from. At least we know who one of them is."

Piccolo floated down to the ground and turned to face the new Chi Chi. "Where did you co..." Piccolo never finished his sentence as he found his skull being smashed in from a very irate woman with a very hard frying pan.

Chi Chi ran up to the tall green man and had to jump up to reach his head, but she hit him good. The namekian fell back a couple steps and shook his head a couple times. Chi Chi raised her frying pan threateningly, "That's for kidnapping Gohan. Now where is he?"

Gohan looked around to see if there were any other Gohans in the area, "I'm right here." he said from his place by the tree.

Chi Chi whirled around and stared at the tall man in front of her. Chi Chi couldn't figure out what was going on, so she did the only sensible thing. She fainted.

-- Look Out --

Dende watched the proceedings from atop his floating palace. "Man, this is better then pay-per-view. I wish I had thought to do this. Maybe I'll bring someone else to the future some other time." Dende stopped watching the show as Chi Chi was out cold for a little while and began searching for the other entity. "If Chi Chi is one of them. Then the other is probably another Z fighter or one of their family members."

-- With Bulma --

Bulma was flying her jet at top speed towards the Son house. When she got there she should be cautious. There's no knowing whether Goku still lives there. Maybe a bunch of other evil saiyans had moved in. Bulma shuddered at the thought of a group of saiyans colonizing Earth and killing everyone off, but there were people in Orange Star City. Of course the saiyans would keep some humans alive as entertainment and to be slaves. What if that was the only city on the planet and all the other people had been killed, but wait, I've already been to two cities, and there were lots of people driving around on the highways. The saiyans probably just didn't want to kill everyone off because it would be creepy to live on a deserted planet.

Bulma shook her head to get the bad images out. Luckily for her the images flew out of her ears like a couple gobs of loose ear wax. Goku was probably still alive and they just could never manage to beat each other. Like a thirteen year long stalemate. Some how Bulma had a hard time convincing herself of that. Bulma began thinking about her future self again. What if she wasn't dead. What if she was Vegetas' slave. He would probably keep her alive, she was beautiful and a genius. 'What if he's not using me for just my brains?' Bulmas' face paled. 'I've got to do something.'

-- Son Residence --

The whole group watched with bated breath as one eye lid twitched. Then the other. Then this younger version of Chi Chi opened both her eyes and looked around at everyone. She examined all the familiar, yet different faces. Then she looked at some of the new faces. Eventually her eyes fell on the older version of Gohan and she spent the next couple of minutes staring at him. Eventually Goku managed to snap her out of it by waving his hand in front of her face. Really quickly.

Chi Chi slowly got up and in a surprisingly calm voice said, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE. SON GOKU YOU WILL EXPLAIN WHAT HAS HAPPENED OR I'M NOT COOKING FOR YOU FOR A YEAR!"

Goku gulped. Even if this wasn't his Chi Chi and she couldn't hold his food supply hostage, that was a scary thought. There was no way he could go back to ki roasted fish after getting used to Chi Chis' wonderful cooking. "Okay Chi Chi. It looks like you've traveled through time some how."

"Time travel? you must be joking. Time travel is impossible." Chi Chi said as a matter of fact. "I got Gohan a bunch of books on time travel and all the greatest scientists disproved the theories.

Bulma began laughing, "But none of those scientists were me."

Goku grinned, "Sorry to break it to you Chi Chi, but time travel is possible. Your not the first time traveler we've met. We've had two people from the future come here."

Chi Chi looked shocked, "I'm in the future?"

Goku nodded. "How far in the future has yet to be determined, but judging by the way you were acting. I'd say your from some time around when Raditz or Vegeta showed up.

Chi Chi nodded, "Yes. I was busy watching you fight that horrible monster on Babas' crystal ball and it zapped Bulma and myself and then we went through this tunnel thing. I just thought I was dreaming and the electricity had knocked me out. Maybe I'm still dreaming?" Chi Chi didn't notice the future Bulma begin covering her mouth to stop herself from laughing at her description of Vegeta.

Goku shook his head, "Afraid not."

Chi Chi frowned, "Bulma was with me, but we got separated and now I don't know where she is. She could be anywhere."

Piccolo decided to speak up, considering he just put two and two together, "She's in this time. somewhere on earth. King Kai said there was more then one person that has shown up recently. Where do you think she would have gone?"

Everyone exchanged looks, "Capsule Corp." they all said at once.

Bulma looked up, "What if she runs into Vegeta?"

Krillin looked up laughing, "Man, I'd love to see that meeting."

Chi Chi looked horrified, "You haven't killed that monster yet. What have you guys been doing?"

Goku looked sympathetically at Chi Chi, "Chi Chi, let me explain. I'll start from where you left off. After the fight with Vegeta we..."

-- With Bulma --

Bulma landed her plane in a small clearing a short distance from the son house. Bulma put the vehicle back into it's capsule and began walking towards her friends house. She was anxious and nervous about what she would see. She crept towards the house and as she got closer she began seeing all the people. 'Good. They're still alive, and Chi Chis' with them.' Bulma was about to jump out and greet them when Goku stood up and looked at the sky. "Vegetas' coming."

Bulma's face paled as she looked up to follow Gokus' gaze. What she saw scared her to no end. Vegeta was dropping out of the sky and he landed neatly in the middle of the group.

Bulma began backing up. and she turned around and sprinted back to the clearing where she could take off again. Bulma popped open her plane capsule and jumped into the transporter. Within seconds she was flying at full speed towards Capsule corp. 'If Vegetas' not at capsule corp. I may be able to sneak in and grab some of the lab equipment. Maybe I'll be able to find out some way to travel through time. I just hope they don't lose this fight.

Brenman: How was that. I wonder what will happen next chapter. Even I don't really know. I only have an idea about where I'm going. all the filler is made up on the fly. Usually I do more planning. Oh and incase you've forgotten. R-E-V-I-E-W Find out what it means to me. R-E-V-I-E-W take care TCB. What's TCB? I sure don't know.

Okay. I just looked it up on Google. Apparently TCB means Taking Care of Business. So I'm going to go listen to some BTO on TCB.


End file.
